by Eleanor Blayney, CFP®
In the two years I have been researching, writing and talking about women and money, more than 200 financial advisers have contacted me, providing their own experiences with their female clientele and adding their support to my fundamental conviction: when it comes to personal financial advice, the conversation with women needs to be different.
Many shared with me how much they enjoy working with women. Their reasons generally cluster around two main observations. First, women rarely try to compete with the adviser, or think they know better. Second, once a woman trusts her adviser, she can be a powerful source of referrals. Men, by contrast, often like to keep a great adviser for themselves.
I, too, have a special affinity for working with women for the simple reason that I know first-hand what it means to be a woman with money and career decisions. Just about every issue my women clients face I have also personally faced-marriage, children, divorce, living on my own, elderly, ailing parents and the agonizing decisions about their long-term care, and being a female professional in a male-dominated field.
But liking to work with women does not mean they like to work with us. Yes, we have great relationships with the women who seek us out, but I believe they may be the exceptions rather than the rule. On their own, or at the bidding (or demand) of their husbands or partners, they have taken the important first step toward becoming financially aware and competent. But for every one of these great women clients sitting across from us at the conference table, how many more great prospects are out there who have never called us, nor ever will? I suspect the number is huge.
As I talk to and meet with women around the country-most of them well-educated and successful-I hear over and over that they do not know where to start when it comes to getting help with their money. Too many have no idea what a CFP® professional does, and put us in the same category as brokers or high-pressure sales people. Some have been patronized by advisers, or have felt invisible if their husbands or partners are in the room. Some don't want to deal with money because they find it boring, scary, complicated, or they just don't have the time. Whatever the reason, it boils down to a lack of trust. Women are not yet convinced that the advisory world is willing to come to them, rather than women coming to it.
According to Michael Silverstein and Kate Sayre, authors of the book Women Want More, of all the major service sectors in the U.S. economy, financial services have been the most disappointing to women.
So how can we improve our outreach to women? Following are ideas I have compiled from my own experience, conversations with mid-life women and discussions with thoughtful advisers who have joined me in my changing-the-conversation initiative.
Forgo the Meeting Agenda and Talking Points
This is imperative for a first meeting with a women client or prospect. You are not the adviser yet; you are only there to listen. Ask one or two open-ended, gentle questions such as, "What brings you here today?" Or better still, try the non-question, "Tell me about yourself."
Spend time discovering her story, rather than telling yours. A woman may be ashamed or fearful about her financial issues. She may think she is the only one facing such problems. Before you solve these problems, communicate (with no or few words) that these problems are normal and acceptable, and she is not alone. As veteran planner Karen Schaeffer, CFP®, co-founder of Schaeffer Financial LLC in Rockville, Md., tells her prospects, "Don't worry: this conference table has heard everything."
As a younger planner, I learned this lesson the hard way. It was quarterly reporting season and I was overscheduled with meetings. It had been a dreadful quarter in the markets, so I was armed with anecdotes and data to keep clients calm and staying the course. Efficient, focused and prepared, I began a conference call with a woman client, immediately launching into my usual drill of walking through her reports. Ten minutes later, when I took a breath, there was a terrible silence on the other end of the phone. It turned out she was unhappy, not about her investments, but some other issue she had with a member of my staff. I almost lost her as a client because I had not stopped to listen or to clear open, safe space where she could speak her mind.
Never Turn Away a Female Prospect Empty- Handed
As the consumer advocate for the CFP Board, the most frequent objection to working with financial planners I hear is, "I am not big enough."
We all recognize the financial planning market needs to go downstream and help people without adequate resources to achieve financial security. At the same time, we have our own business models and profitability imperatives. Like Willie Sutton, we go where the money is, and often impose minimums for assets or fees. Accepting only those who fit our target client profile may be a key to our success.
Male prospects are perhaps more apt to understand that it is purely a business decision when they are turned away for not being a good fit. Women, however, may take it more personally. It isn't simply an issue of not being big enough; it's a matter of not being important enough.
Women talk, and not just to others who look, financially speaking, like themselves. A woman who is not a good prospect will likely be networking with other women who may be ideal. They will talk about how they were treated and how they felt, and not about your business model.
Make sure you provide something of value to every woman prospect you interview, especially those you will not take on as clients. Have a name, a book, a website she can go to for her financial issues. Ask her to call back at a later point to share with you if your referrals were helpful. Then improve your suggestions to the next woman prospect you turn away. Make sure you take her seriously as a valuable person, even if she is not valuable to your business.
Help Your Female Clients and Prospects Help Themselves
Many women simply don't want to get involved with their finances; they want someone to do it for them. But just like their healthcare, they cannot entirely delegate this responsibility. They have to show up at some point.
Failure to engage often results from lack of experience. Get your unengaged women involved in small ways. Get them to call the attorney, to open the custodial account, to call in a trade. Create a small win-a box they can check off on the financial to-do list.
For instance, I date my first step toward becoming competent with my own finances when I called a broker to buy some stock. I didn't have a clue what I was doing or how to place a trade, but at the end of the call I felt heady with my success at becoming a shareholder in Occidental Petroleum.
Tip: Here's an idea for when you speak to a group of women about the importance of financial planning and management. I have heard from planners who are perplexed at how well-received their ideas are during a presentation, only to hear nothing from the session participants later on. Next time, ask these women to write down one financial action they can do in the next few weeks or months, not that they should do. Ask them to self-address an envelope and put the action item in the envelope for you to mail as a reminder at a later date. Along with their item, you also enclose a tip or suggestion for accomplishing this to-do.
Don't Treat Couples as a Single Client
Often, married or otherwise committed couples come in with the official version of their financial situation, and one takes the lead in telling it. I don't think I risk gender profiling by saying that the narrator is usually the man in the relationship.
Behind that presentation are often two separate stories and attitudes about money. Even if the couple is in perfect agreement about goals and responsibilities, they almost certainly arrive from different places when it comes to the role money played in their families of origin. At this year's FPA Retreat in San Antonio, life planner Roy Diliberto shared this important observation when talking about his introductory questions to a husband and wife: "We don't ask couples; we ask people."
Consider these two compelling statistics. The average age of widowhood in this country is 56. Within one year of their husbands' deaths, 70 percent of women fire their financial advisers. Make sure you are listening to her story, not just his or theirs.
Never Assume, Period
Having just shared some important statistics, I will now snatch them back before you talk to your next woman client or prospect. Statistics may be useful in telling us what trends to look for, but they do not help us make eye contact with the woman now sitting in our conference room.
Several months ago I was brimming with research on women's cognitive and conversational styles, as well as their signature financial issues (living alone, healthcare in retirement, taking care of dependents). I thought I had the answers to Freud's famous question, "What do women want?" at least when it came to financial advice.
But in a brainstorming session with former FPA president Elizabeth Jetton, CFP®, of RTD Financial Advisors and my colleague and mentor, she listened politely to all my facts and figures and simply said, "One thing we know about women is that there is no such thing as an average woman." She, being an extraordinary woman herself, nailed it.
Eleanor Blayney, CFP®, is president of Direction$ LLC, a financial advisory service for women and their advisers. She is also the author of the book Women's Worth: Finding Your Financial Confidence, and she currently serves as the consumer advocate for the CFP Board.
